This week I want to think 'out loud' about conflict through the metaphor of fire and invite you to respond with your thoughts around where the connection works for you - and where it doesn't. All metaphors have limitations - yet I think there are some places where this one works.
It started with the tragic story from Perth recently - where over 70 homes were lost in a fire - apparently started through a careless act. The story is worth reading as those affected are rallying around 'Uncle Bob' - the alleged fire-starter. He has been charged and has to 'face the music' yet the community stands with him.
The trouble with fire is that, once started, it can be difficult to control and, if not careful, we can spend much of our time as leaders fighting fires. Conflict, like fire, can get a life of it's own and destroy years of careful work in a few contageous blazing seconds. Three issues come to mind - if I want to prevent the flames of conflict from catching and spreading I need to develop understanding of the dynamic of conflict, how some people are more 'flammable' than others and how sparks are caused.
Arbinger's work around the dynamic of 'collusion' goes a long way to help us understand the anatomy of conflict - illustrated hilariously in this clip from Malcolm in the Middle:
Understanding the dynamic is good - but an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Fires, like conflict, can be started many ways. Some are down to chance but many are started by people - through carelessness, recklessness or even malicious intent. The 1991 classic Backdraft is a great movie for pondering the nature of fire, conflict and teamwork.
An angle grinder is thought to have started the Perth fire. While nobody was killed it will take years for the community to recover. Before I criticise 'Uncle Bob' - I might ask myself if I am being careless or reckless with sparks that can ignite conflict at work or at home? Where am I grinding on others?
Fire, like conflict, is useful when contained - and destructive when not. Am I doing all I can to keep it contained? Food for thought ....
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