Choosing to be wrong

For a week that started with so much promise - this one has been a stinker.  I ended last week spending a great day with family, friends and food - and then watching my team (The Highlanders) win well - against the odds.  Everything was looking great and then Monday came...

We had started renovations on the home and office and my help was needed - and I climbed deep into 'the box' and slammed the lid shut.  I don't know where it started but I got so bent out of shape that everything was like a another strip of flesh being slowly torn from my heart.  I started to question the value of relationships that are priceless.  I struggled with a migraine - which I carefully fed with chocolate and then wallowed in the delicious pain that intensified.  I shut myself down and cut myself off.  I had gone from a quest for responsiveness to a campaign for resistance in the blink of an eye.  All of the time believing that this was something that others were doing to me!

There were 2 moments that challenged this funk I was in.  One was when I found myself, in the supermarket, making an old man with a walking stick go around me when I could so easily have stepped out of the way - and as he walked past - seriously thinking about kicking the stick out from under him.  Does a genuine victim scheme about tripping up strangers and find pleasure in it?  The second moment was when I realised I missed my granddaughter.  Her mother moved from our home into a flat at the weekend and so Tamryn went too.  I had been face to face with this chubby cherub - almost every day for the last 3 months - being smiled at and talked to - and now there was a hole.

The bottom line is that I was wrong.  The world had not turned against me.  My family had not abandoned me.  The old man had not offended me.  I had just been wrong in a moment - and had initiated a chain reaction of judgments and justifications to keep me from facing the facts - that life doesn't always go to plan - and that I am free to choose to be wrong.  Check this TED talk from Kathryn Shulz about being wrong when you have time (17 mins):

 

Funnily enough, I found out this morning that we had $8,000 ripped off from a credit card overnight and I dropped myself from the golf team for the weekend but, funnily enough, the world has not come to an end.  What had changed?  I visited Tamryn yesterday and re-connected, a friend called and talked for an hour and another friend sent me this clip that just made me laugh:

 

Maybe I need to spend more time choosing to be wrong about the negative impact other people are having on me.  Food for thought ....

Comments

[Roxanne Zolin]

Dear John,

I don't know if it is karma, superstition or synchronicity but I find that events like loosing $8,00 typically follow choosing to be wrong, especially if you persist in the decision.

Best wishes,
Roxanne

[Jenni]

Thank you Cossie,
Your blogs always give me something to think about. You write from the heart and don't hold back in showing us where you can improve. I love that honesty and it helps me reflect on my own areas to develop. Thank you for sharing.
Cheers,
Jenni