Cossie's Food for Thought

Something to smile about

Have you ever noticed how the simplest things can make the biggest difference to the success of a team?  This week I want to share a simple thing that costs nothing but potentially benefits everyone and everything.  I'm talking about our propensity to smile.

Let me explain.  We had a new move-in introduce herself, this week, at a community group I belong to.  I don't remember much of what she said but I do remember her dazzling, irrepressible smile bubbling to the surface again and again as she spoke.  I found myself smiling in return and you could tangibly feel a lifting of the collective attitude in the room.  Have you ever had that experience?  Just going through the motions, when someone comes along and beams a smile that just calls your own smile out in response? 

This short TED talk by Ron Gutman shares what science has discovered about the power of the smile and really makes me think about the possibilities:

 

Imagine that! Kids smile up to 400 times a day yet only 1/3 of adults smile more than 20 times a day.  How often do you smile?  I like to think of myself as happy - but many of the photos taken over the years show an expression that hovers between neutral and grim.  What sort of influence could I have on others if I simply let my smile out more often?

What if the brightness and frequency of our smile, as a leader, has a direct effect on the brightness and frequency of smiles in our workplaces and homes?  Maybe one of the easiest ways we can create a space where people are happily engaged in delivering great results is simply to smile brightly more often?  It certainly won't cost anything for us to put it to the test.  Kids smile, on average, once every 2 minutes and 30 seconds.  What about you?  When I think about it - I might be lucky to smile brightly once or twice an hour.

Personally, I think smiling is a symptom of being present, in the moment, out of the box with another, sharing the wonder of discovering the world afresh.  What if increasing my SQ ( my smile quotient) makes me happier, makes other's happier, reduces stress, increases productivity, increases life span, unleashes creativity and delivers better results?  Is it worth experimenting with this week?

Food for thought ...

p.s. - Dave Oldham from O-Codes shared this with me - and it really gave me something to smile about :-)  Have a great week and pass it on :-)

 

Finding a fresh perspective

One of the biggest challenges we face as leaders is tunnel vision.  We get so deep into what we are trying to achieve that we start missing other evidence - even when it is staring us in the face.  This is part and parcel of self deception.  If we are not careful - we can get stuck - pushing against the door marked pull.

Sometimes we need a game changer - a fresh perspective that gives us a chance to ponder the situation anew.  I had one sent to me this week by my friend Kamran (cheers mate).  Watch and see if this baby's response to the rejection letter his father received works as well for you as it does for me. 

 

Do you have a game changer you can go to when resistance starts weigh heavy?   Being stuck is a state of mind.  

Food for thought.....

Can you see the bubble?

Check out this TED talk by Eli Pariser.  It is less than 10 minutes long and he raises an issue that might be more important than we realise....

 

My first thoughts, after watching this clip, were around the implications of being stuck in a 'web of one' - where the only information I receive is what computers 'decide' is relevant to me.  Then I remembered that this happens outside of the web as well.  How many of us have told someone in power or authority what we think they want to hear as opposed to what we believe or perceive?  If we do it with others then surely it is done to us as well.  What can we trust to be true or balanced?

I think I can rely on my own observations - yet - there's a problem here too.  In self-deception I distort my perception of what I see and hear to justify my mistreatment of others.  How does that happen?  Let me illustrate.  On Wednesday I took a call from a lady who works for the Kapiti Expressway project.  After briefly introducing herself she informed me that 'fortunately' all of my property is now required for the new road.  I saw red!  I gave her a spray and hung up on her.  In subsequent conversation with her boss he mentioned that her script used the word unfortunately and not the one I had heard.  While I still think it is dumb to use a word that can be heard as it's polar opposite meaning when giving bad news to a victim - I have to ask the question - did the caller mis-speak or did I mis-hear in order to justify my abusive reaction?

Whether we call it 'the box' or a bubble - this disconnection from balance and perspective is a major challenge for all of us.  How can we make good decisions when the information we base them on is woefully incomplete, dangerously unbalanced and then distorted to suit our purposes?    For those who watch movies - it's like being trapped in the Matrix - thinking that everything is as we perceive it and unable to see the code.

That's why I choose to work with Arbinger - because their language and tools help me to see some of the distortions in my own life and that gives me choices around how I respond.  It doesn't mean I get it right but sometimes I get to make it right - and that's good enough for now.  Having others 'feed' us managed information is dangerous but this pales in comparison to the risks we present by maintaing self-justifying images of ourselves.  Google and Facebook do present a threat to balance and perspective in the way they 'handle' us but will they make the change if we won't be it? 

Blue Pill or Red Pill
The Matrix at MOVIECLIPS.com

 

 Before Neo could see the matrix he had to take the pill.  Maybe it's time for me to read Leadership and Self Deception or Anatomy of Peace again?  Food for thought ....