Failure is not an option

Have you ever found yourself in a slump?  Where the golf shots aren't as good as they used to be?  Where the relationships don't seem as rich as they were before?  Where prospects are less bright and where doubts seem to infest everything?

The trouble with getting into a slump is that we often don't see it coming until it is too late.  It's like being 'in the box' - where every experience is framed by a nagging thought that we don't measure up.  The moment we allow this thought a place in our mind it spreads like a virus to infect every aspect of our lives.  We discover a mass of evidence that supports the idea that 'we suck'.  We use the wrong tape to measure ourselves against unhelpful standards and then we use these observations as justification for connecting the wrong dots.

The picture that was so promising is now just an ugly distortion.  How can this happen to intelligent and rational adults? 

I think we put our confidence at risk when we invest too much into the need to deliver a specific result with a perfect shot - every time.  When we don't hit that perfect shot and, therefore, don't achieve the perfect result we go looking for explanations to justify our failure.  When we can't find someone else to 'fit' for the crime then we sometimes blame ourselves.  Tell these 'rational' lies often enough and we become imprisoned by them - waiting to be rescued - unaware that we hold the key. 

One of my favourite experts on performance improvement, Timothy Gallwey, shares some insight into how we can be better lifting our game:

 

Is it possible to have a clear result in mind, to develop a strong intention in mind as to how I am going to deliver that result - and yet be totally open to accepting whatever result is delivered?  To 'swing' freely without fear of failure or ridicule?  I have a NASA coffee mug from Florida that is boldly emblazoned with the words - 'failure is not an option'.  Does that mean that we should give up and go home if we don't manage the perfect shot?  If we swing with a 'fear of failure' then we are almost certain to achieve it.

Maybe the failure they are talking about on my mug is not about perfection.  Maybe failure is what we achieve when we give up on making mistakes - when we accept our own weak excuses for not being perfect and stop trying.  Failure is what we achieve when we close ourselves off from the learning opportunities that life offers us.  

The ball goes where I hit it and each new shot gives me an opportunity to learn more and to play better - in golf as well as in life - if I will just relax and enjoy the ride.

Food for thought ......

 

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