The run into Christmas is about as busy as it gets for many of us - trying to get everything sorted before everyone disappears on holiday. It's a time of year where pressure can lead to mistakes and they can quickly compound into conflict. Why does this happen when mistakes are often just overlooked opportunities that have been misinterpreted and mis-labelled?
A mistake,as defined in the Merriam-Webster on-line dictionary, means among other things - to blunder in the choice of; to misunderstand the meaning or intention of; to make a wrong judgement of the character or ability of; to identify wrongly or confuse with another; to be wrong - all of which we attribute to 'the event'. What if we have it wrong? What if the real mistake we make is not what we do 'wrong' but rather our reaction the thing that didn't happen as planned?
I don't know about you - but I grew up learning that mistakes were a sign of weakness and had to be avoided at all cost. This led to many years of 'safe' decisions and unfulfilled potential. It also led to a penchant for pointing out the mistakes of others - the rationale being "if the attention is on them it won't be on me". We spend too much time trying to avoid or disguise or disown our 'mistakes' that we begin to live in fear. We fear that we are not enough. We stop playing our instrument for fear that others will hear the occasional bum note and realise our incompetence.
What if we are wrong about that note? Here is a fascinating TED presentation by Stefon Harris on the value of a bum note:
As in Jazz, so it is in improvisation. A 'yes-and' response to whatever is being offered leads to an increase in creativity and energy. a 'but-no' reaction crushes the creativity and destroys the opportunity.
I wonder how many times I have destroyed amazing opportunites, for myself and others, simply by resisting or missing the possibility of what was on offer? Just because there are too many times to count but that doesn't mean that I can't change.
What if i'm wrong about the way I am seeing somebody or something? What if i'm mistaken?
Will work and home be different if I choose not to sieze on mistakes? I don't know if it will or not - but I am looking forward to giving it a crack over Christmas. What about you?
Food for thought ....
